Prepper's Blind Alley

Good evening..or morning, afternoon to all. This is Alleycat here with some
final comments maybe until the fine day when I become homeless for a fifth
time in my life. Would you love to know why people like me become homeless?
Well, read on, be entertained, involved, or disgusted, curious, or whatever
the feeling is after I finish explaining my current predicament. It all
started several years ago when my x-husband kicked me out of our apartment,
and my mother got me out of a hotel to come back to the east coast,
thankfully. but little did I know I would be at the stage I am at right now.
In 2007, I noticed some strange things going on with my mother. She was 82
at that time, and she was doing some things I did not understand. My mother
was always a down-to-earth person but very artistically gifted. She was
initially trained as a bookkeeper and worked when she was young as a banker,
and also for a brokerage firm. Then she married my Dad and they settled into
domestic bliss and had us kids. My brother is out of the picture now, as he
decided to rob me a year ago, and we had to kick him out, the cops and a
trustee that was here. We will get to this. In December of 2007 and before
this, my mother had forgotten some of her great gourmet skills in the
kitchen, and that stumped me for a time. Then she began to get lost in the
car, and I realized what I was dealing with. Finally she stripped the brakes
and steering in the car after being lost one more time, and I quietly took
the keys away and we got rid of the car. It was shortly after this that she
was having falls in the house, and I had to call the Emt’s to take care and
pick her up for me. She was falling everywhere…in the house. On the fourth
fall, she needed rehabilitation as I found out it was the same arm she fell
on all the time and she was getting to the point she couldn’t use it any
more. While in there a very good friend whose father had Alzheimer’s while
he was alive, said this was my time to get my mother permanently installed
into the nursing home, and I worked at this for a while handing papers to
the lawyers. In the meantime, the lawyers decided to make me and my mother
sign these trust papers. I read them, and somehow it didn’t occur to me I
could get stuck with a witch to take the trust money which was a substantial
amount in her care. Until that moment, I had been doing all my mother’s
stuff, like cooking, cleaning, and yes doing her bills for her making out
the checks as I have machinery to help me do paperwork with the vision
problem. This trustee which now has this account, was supposed to account to
me how the cash was spent but unethically, she hasn’t accounted in writing
for one penny of it. When I had the account, I knew every penny and kept
track of it for those two years. So this lawyer took it away from me and my
mother, and she went into the home on Medicaid and her social security and
there is nothing left for either one of us. The house here has been sold,
but I don’t have access to that account left by the trustee to rot and she
sits on it as if it will lay an egg. I mean it. I don’t get much out of her
at all and have to beg for cash for groceries. The cash from the house will
be minus the realtor fee and any taxes etc after the sale is complete but
again I say, I will not have access to that account, and the lawyer has put
the trustee’s name on my mother’s house so I never got to own anything. This
isn’t what my mother wanted to see me in poverty and it isn’t ethical that
is my view. Sure, maybe they were trying to keep the house to be taken by
the nursing home, I really don’t know as these people don’t make an
accounting of anything or answer any of my questions I have had for two
years about this whole affair. I once handed the trustee 20 questions on
e-mail for her to answer and she ignored me her attitude all these two years
she has been doing this. I feel, and the “good” lawyer I now have feels that
the third lawyer the troublemaker, doesn’t want to deal with my disability.
This is the tip of a large looming iceberg. The first lawyer my mother’s
after twenty years said he didn’t want the responsibility so he left. The
second lawyer I hired made weird remarks about my disability so I canned
her, the third lawyer said after we got the new septic in if that didn’t go
well the house would be condemned and I would only have ninety days to get
out and she doesn’t care where I go. How nice she is!! Then, the fourth
lawyer I hired to see if he could do anything about the third lawyer and the
nasty cold icy trustee who is very controlling of my life…so there is the
story. If all cannot be resolved, and I meet with the fourth lawyer tomorrow
and asked him to see if the trust could be dissolved, which I don’t think it
can, then folks I must find right away a place to go by November 1st with
this house being sold and no provisions for where I should go or end up by
the trustee. On my tiny Social Security check which is half of today’s rents
for apartments I am not sure what to do. I have spent the last few weeks on
the web until I drop from exhaustion looking for very cheap apartments which
still exist. I bet they’re not in good neighborhoods as the rent is also
small with today’s inflationary prices. Wish me luck, and if you believe in
God, say a few prayers for me. I am in turmoil as I also gave up some dear
pets this weekend to foster care which I must pay for each month for their
care and don’t know if I will ever see them again. This is my story. If
anybody wants to help me in any way, please feel free contact me at
karenb74@comcast.net. I shall say goodbye for now. Perhaps there will be
other posts for a month as I continue my battles until it is the last day
and I must leave my mother’s old house for good. Alleycat wishes you all
well….she is sneaking down the dark alley again as another alleycat has
kicked her out of her usual spot just inside the old warehouse she likes to
haunt…The gray alleycat rushes down the dark alley until she cannot be
seen any more…..meow!!! as she catches a mouse since her cat food ran
out!! Dinner has arrived…

Hello, have you been considering what it will be like once things go
downhill, and you are spending more time in your home alone? Hey, is it like
the movie “Home Alone” or will you have enough to occupy your mind? Will you
deal with being alone all the time and take pleasure in it? Those are part
of preparation too as well as physical preps we all are familiar with. As
for me, since many people ignore me anyway, I am again becoming used to
being alone all the time. There are only two people I see once a week, and
when I leave this place there will be even fewer probably. I am on the
computer a lot, typing e-mail, but even this probably won’t be happening as
I have no income to pay for it basically. In a space of about three to six
months I am sure once funds are gone, then I also will have nothing to pay
utilities. I am not sure what I will do, but the prospect of being alone
used to loom large with me because I had my Mom for so long. But I look back
to a time when I had apartments and I was alone all the time then too. It
isn’t that I’m not social, haven’t tried with sighted people, on the
contrary. Many blind folks stick to other blind people and don’t bother with
the sighted for social activities. I belonged to clubs, and took classes at
adult education groups for ages, and found no good friends. I went sailing
at a club on the Charles River, and hoped people would adjust to my being
there, but nope that just never happened. It is one thing for a blind person
to try, and it is another whether sighted people get by their morbid
curiosity to think of you as a real friend. That is the way it is.
Therefore, I am used to being alone again, after my mother went into the
nursing home I mourned, and I was lonely. Now I am used to it again and it
has taken that two years to adjust. I am searching for land to put a cabin
or trailer on, and when I find it, it will be time for me to go. I am
constantly looking, and this will mean more isolation for me…but it is
okay. I have a plan. I stick to routines in the morning, feed my animals and
me, and do things around the house…then if I move will start my gardens
again too, and that takes time and effort as we all know. After that since I
am always getting older I won’t have to worry if I have too much energy to
expend. I have always listened to radio while I work, and will continue as
long as it can be heard. I have some books I can read if bored, and that is
enough I guess. There are always chores to be done to keep me busy. It would
be good if you had a plan things to keep you busy as the time may come when
you too will be alone. Sighted people don’t have to worry about being alone
as much as the disabled who are ignored, but in this case as society breaks
down, guess what? I think we now will have the advantage, and not lose our
minds over it. Sighted people are so used to being out and around others. I
tried for twenty years to fit in, and I am about done with that. I send mail
out to other blind people and I write here. But when I find land, I will not
be able to afford the mail access on the computer, and I won’t be going to
the library to get it or anywhere else for that matter often. I have
appreciated the fact that I was allowed to have this blog, and the great
effort put into that. I am letting you know that, and I am looking forward
to a time when my own name is on a piece of land will give me
satisfaction…In the meantime, think about what your plan will be when you
can’t socialize as much as you do now, if we have a war, or breakdown of our
country and you are out there in your retreat by yourself. Hey, keep a pack
of cards around or things to do to occupy your time. Solitaire is an option
when bored. Alleycat and furry friends.